Grief doesn’t just take the ones we’ve lost; it splits the living. Friendships fade as the grief becomes too much to carry, and the bonds you thought would last slip away.

Before grief entered my life, I had a relationship with someone I shared everything with. We leaned on each other through life’s ups and downs, shared disappointments and dreams. Confided in each other our failures while building each other up to thrive. It was a bond that felt like it could withstand anything.

Sometimes though, the very people you expect to hold you up during those moments of loss are the ones who end up feeling the farthest away.

You think grief will unite you, especially when you have shared so much. But instead, it can quietly pull you part. There’s a silence that creeps in, a space widens, and soon the relationship you thought could survive anything feels distant. Foreign.

For some, it is not out of malice. People often don’t know how to support you, so they don’t. They step back, unsure what to say, afraid of saying the wrong thing. They start to avoid interactions with you. And that absence, becomes louder than any words could be.

I used to blame them. For not showing up. For not knowing how to help me through it. For not standing by me in my grief. I was angry. I felt alone. Most of all, I was deeply hurt, grieving not only the physical loss of my loved ones but also the emotional loss of someone who once meant so much to me.

We all handle loss differently. While I wanted them closer, wanted their presence, maybe they didn’t know how. Maybe they struggled with their own fears of grief. Maybe they didn’t realize how much I needed them until it was too late. And maybe—I didn’t give them the chance.

Grief changes everything. It takes from us in ways we can’t anticipate. It doesn’t just take our loved ones—it can take the living too. And the silence that follows, the silence between us, is the loudest reminder of what we lost.

But now with time, I see it differently. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. I know you loved me. I know you cared.

I miss you, buddy. And I’m truly happy for the life you built.